You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There's always time for handjobs
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize