Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
