Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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