apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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