my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think my fart just growled at me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
