I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
