do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want her autograph on my taint
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
