Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
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he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
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guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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