It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
