I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
