that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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