That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
