when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
