then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
we're so committed to being not committed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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