I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
