Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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