Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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