Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
