brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
