pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
