I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
