man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
