Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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