I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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