Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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