oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
