Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach. http://tfl.nu/dziv
  Replies (44) Good night (4172) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (2497)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l
  Replies (17) Good night (5409) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access? http://tfl.nu/pvq3
  Replies (27) Good night (5331) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway. http://tfl.nu/lu4f
  Replies (14) Good night (1270) Bad night (2704)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement? http://tfl.nu/iy8f
  Replies (8) Good night (1079) Bad night (2775)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero. http://tfl.nu/osga
  Replies (6) Good night (3522) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one. http://tfl.nu/ek2z
  Replies (15) Good night (3078) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball. http://tfl.nu/n9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1350) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us. http://tfl.nu/w51y
  Replies (2) Good night (1800) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous? http://tfl.nu/yl4t
  Replies (9) Good night (1767) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (987): View more from

  Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (987): Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes. http://tfl.nu/pzcq
  Replies (7) Good night (1142) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/zt4q
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me http://tfl.nu/ceiy
  Replies (8) Good night (353) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob? http://tfl.nu/m7ja
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (196)

Randomize