if i can run in heels then i can drive
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????