Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Hi

  (805): View more from California

  Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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  (425): Hi (805): Babe...You're really smothering me right now http://tfl.nu/5pqv
  Replies (34) Good night (920) Bad night (4745)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  that's an acceptable place to lick

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  (212): that's an acceptable place to lick http://tfl.nu/6rie
  Replies (11) Good night (4061) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.

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  (740): i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/qqa2
  Replies (26) Good night (888) Bad night (2674)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover

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  (204): I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover http://tfl.nu/k1fy
  Replies (8) Good night (1399) Bad night (4089)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.

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  (317): I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment. http://tfl.nu/sxji
  Replies (13) Good night (5117) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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  (803): I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix http://tfl.nu/tcv4
  Replies (35) Good night (7404) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (302): I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/y6ds
  Replies (12) Good night (5040) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...

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  (563): i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this... http://tfl.nu/un0n
  Replies (20) Good night (6424) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

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  (805): Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face. http://tfl.nu/ins1
  Replies (10) Good night (4042) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions

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  (972): The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions http://tfl.nu/nm0a
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (2565)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

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  (405): I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday. http://tfl.nu/si72
  Replies (6) Good night (1883) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?

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  (901): Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper? http://tfl.nu/q7x9
  Replies (17) Good night (4254) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.

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  (270): Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil. http://tfl.nu/p6d2
  Replies (14) Good night (2179) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."

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  (208): It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate." (1-208): My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time." http://tfl.nu/9ozo
  Replies (3) Good night (1077) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me

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  (443): She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me http://tfl.nu/42gf
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (516)

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