I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
organizing the empties. That sober.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?