Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
