sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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