I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
