ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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