Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
