Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
