i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
