If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
