You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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