so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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