Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Farmville is her only friend.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
