the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize