Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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