i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
