Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ladies don't puke and tell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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