white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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