six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
