You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
