He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
