Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize