my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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