He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
