i would punch a child for taco bell
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
of course. lets lasso hookers.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
