JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
