Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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