this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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