Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
