can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
