I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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